I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
