I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
