Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
