How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
