I wannas sexs uuuuu
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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