so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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