when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
