one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
