Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
