I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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