Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
