I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
