I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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