oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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