I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
