I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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