What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, beer. Big fan.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
