Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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