sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
