I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
