when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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