I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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