the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
