remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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