stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
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I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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