At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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