a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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