I've blown a few things in my day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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