help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize