Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We are two peas in an std pod
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
