i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize