WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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