apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Pants are for mortals
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
