Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
