If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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