so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
