You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
