Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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