You can't motorboat a personality
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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