she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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