Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
