And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
