And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
