Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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