I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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