Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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