You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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