are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
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