Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
