can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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