omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ok first of all what the fuck
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
