I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
