Having a random hookup so left but love u
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
