Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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