I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
