32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
