What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
