you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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