so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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