That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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