If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm at about main and main street
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
