oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
