I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
