Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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