I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
