I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize